Close my eyes

"We will see only what we want to see"

If I pretend I don't see, then I can pretend there is nothing, right?

Thank you

A special thank you to angeline for organising that small gathering yesterday and to everyone else that came and alvin for offering his place. It was quite fun. Thank you people!

False dawn.?!(??)

I think it's probably a bit too quick to judge, but I cannot help but wonder whether it is a false dawn on the horizon.

And yes, the photo is a bit fail.

And...

...my mum is back. I can say hello to proper food and less stress.

Finally.

Anticipation

In an hour and a half, I will have a parent again. I cannot wait.

To do...

I've taken a liking to making lists lately. It somehow gives me the (false) feeling that I'm on top of everything that needs to be done. So...

1. Civil: do assignment 8 and tutes 17-20
2. Maths: watch and make notes for the last 4 lectures and do the problem sets and workshops for the last two weeks
3. Micro: make notes for the last two lectures and start the 1500 word essay
4. Itf: do study plan for chapter 6 and 7, do chapter 7 test and start the group assignment
5. Mech: (hopefully) build device A and B by sunday so we can do test runs and not fail like last time.

Now all I have to do is just do as my list says, which is easier said than done.

For those that I missed...

1. Sum up the courage and take the plunge. Like I said, it's always better to say something than say nothing.
   
2. You are always there to give me the advice I need - thanks for being there when I needed those few encouraging words.
3. You always have my back when I need it - thanks bro.
   

Depressing day

It's been a depressing day today. Completely botched the warman trial 2 and ended up with a fail score. If only all those levels of stress and hours of sleep lost the night before actually translated to something worthwhile. *sigh* better luck next time I guess.

P.S. Just think of MA. It'll cheer you up.

11 things to 8 people...

...because some people are worth more than one comment.

1. I have so much fun with you.
   
2. You are not going to be my best man at my wedding. End of story.
3. I want to know what's going on inside your head.
4. You really are a lot smarter than I give you credit for. Edit: You're pure genius man.
   
5. All you're missing is just a bit more self confidence.
6. I hope everything works out for you. Be patient!
7. I hope you can find what you're looking for. Have faith.
8. Thank you for always being there for me all these years, whether it's just to give me a hand or listen to me talk - your presence has always been appreciated a lot.
9. One word. Awesome; need I say more?
10. I should really put more effort and be a better friend to you.
11. I haven't said this to you, but I do cherish you as a friend.
    

Dum di dum

The title says it all.

Unexpected

Life is full of unexpected surprises - and usually when you are least prepared for it.

I definitely didn't see this coming, but sometimes, the best things in life are the ones that catch you by surprise, right?

On a related note, it's amazing how much things can change in just two short weeks.

Note

Dear self,

Don't freak yourself out - keep it cool.

That is all.

Psyche!

SURPRISE!

I need....

1. A break
2. A holiday
3. A time away from everything
   
4. More sleep
5. More energy
   
6. More time
   
7. More patience

Most of this is just wishful thinking though.

Time

Time is precious and there is not enough time to spare. So let's not waste it and dawdle. Go on - keep walking now.

The first step

A friend gave me this little moral story.

Two monks were walking, when they came to a fast flowing river. As they started to cross, a young woman standing at the river's edge asked if they would help her cross too. The first monk said, "Absolutely not," and started across the river. The second monk simply picked her up and carried her, after which he set her down and continued on his way. Five miles later, the first monk, who had been quietly fuming all this time, said to the second monk, "How could you possibly have done that? We have both taken a vow to never touch a woman." The second monk replied, "Brother, I picked her up, carried her to the other side and set her down again. But you have been carrying her for the last five miles." To live each day in ways you are proud to remember set down the things that burden you. Do what you need to do and then let them go.

I guess it's about time I let it go. And I think I finally took the first step tonight.

A little less sombre...

And for my second post of the day, this weekend in sport hasn't been very good for my teams.

First, the eagles lost by 3 points to port when they really should have won the game (and the 1st round for that matter) and then Deccan also got walloped by Mumbai in cricket. To cap it off, the dockers also won their 2nd consecutive game. Seriously, how often do you see freo sitting 2nd on the ladder???!!!

Let's just hope next week turns out to be a better weekend.

Words

Words are not my strong suit, or I guess to put it more correctly, to say whatever it is that's on my mind, especially when I'm not behind my shield that is msn. I find that to say anything remotely meaningful means attaching some sort of personal tag onto your comments. Because of this, I always find it difficult to translate my feelings into thoughts, to take the plunge and just spit out what it is I want to say, no matter what it is. I am always worried about what might happen, always having second doubts and unable to take that step into the unknown. I just can't accept the idea of risking it all. Instead, I replay what I want to say in my mind over and over again, like a song on loop.

This baggage is always there, and I know that no matter how much wishing away I do, it won't go away. I know I have to overcome this fear for me to get anywhere, but at the moment, I am just helpless. And not even alcohol seems to help - my mind remains crystal clear as always.

Insomnia

This might seem a funny way to notice a thing like this, but I noticed tonight that what you want but can't get is a lot more appealing compared to the same thing that you want but can get. (if that makes any sense)

Over the past couple of weeks I've been dying to get some more sleep, but because I've had a ton of work to do every night, I could never get more than about 6 hours sleep and was really looking forward to sleeping early in the study break. Here I am now though, awake at 3 in the morning and I'm actually finding that I don't feel like sleeping at all. What seemed so appealing to me before has now lost all its appeal.

Perhaps I should really be sleeping though; I'm not really sure what point it is I wanted to make in this post.