Words are not my strong suit, or I guess to put it more correctly, to say whatever it is that's on my mind, especially when I'm not behind my shield that is msn. I find that to say anything remotely meaningful means attaching some sort of personal tag onto your comments. Because of this, I always find it difficult to translate my feelings into thoughts, to take the plunge and just spit out what it is I want to say, no matter what it is. I am always worried about what might happen, always having second doubts and unable to take that step into the unknown. I just can't accept the idea of risking it all. Instead, I replay what I want to say in my mind over and over again, like a song on loop.
This baggage is always there, and I know that no matter how much wishing away I do, it won't go away. I know I have to overcome this fear for me to get anywhere, but at the moment, I am just helpless. And not even alcohol seems to help - my mind remains crystal clear as always.
dear alan kan
ReplyDeletejust means it wasnt enough alcohol ;)