Psyche!

SURPRISE!

I need....

1. A break
2. A holiday
3. A time away from everything
   
4. More sleep
5. More energy
   
6. More time
   
7. More patience

Most of this is just wishful thinking though.

Time

Time is precious and there is not enough time to spare. So let's not waste it and dawdle. Go on - keep walking now.

The first step

A friend gave me this little moral story.

Two monks were walking, when they came to a fast flowing river. As they started to cross, a young woman standing at the river's edge asked if they would help her cross too. The first monk said, "Absolutely not," and started across the river. The second monk simply picked her up and carried her, after which he set her down and continued on his way. Five miles later, the first monk, who had been quietly fuming all this time, said to the second monk, "How could you possibly have done that? We have both taken a vow to never touch a woman." The second monk replied, "Brother, I picked her up, carried her to the other side and set her down again. But you have been carrying her for the last five miles." To live each day in ways you are proud to remember set down the things that burden you. Do what you need to do and then let them go.

I guess it's about time I let it go. And I think I finally took the first step tonight.

A little less sombre...

And for my second post of the day, this weekend in sport hasn't been very good for my teams.

First, the eagles lost by 3 points to port when they really should have won the game (and the 1st round for that matter) and then Deccan also got walloped by Mumbai in cricket. To cap it off, the dockers also won their 2nd consecutive game. Seriously, how often do you see freo sitting 2nd on the ladder???!!!

Let's just hope next week turns out to be a better weekend.

Words

Words are not my strong suit, or I guess to put it more correctly, to say whatever it is that's on my mind, especially when I'm not behind my shield that is msn. I find that to say anything remotely meaningful means attaching some sort of personal tag onto your comments. Because of this, I always find it difficult to translate my feelings into thoughts, to take the plunge and just spit out what it is I want to say, no matter what it is. I am always worried about what might happen, always having second doubts and unable to take that step into the unknown. I just can't accept the idea of risking it all. Instead, I replay what I want to say in my mind over and over again, like a song on loop.

This baggage is always there, and I know that no matter how much wishing away I do, it won't go away. I know I have to overcome this fear for me to get anywhere, but at the moment, I am just helpless. And not even alcohol seems to help - my mind remains crystal clear as always.

Insomnia

This might seem a funny way to notice a thing like this, but I noticed tonight that what you want but can't get is a lot more appealing compared to the same thing that you want but can get. (if that makes any sense)

Over the past couple of weeks I've been dying to get some more sleep, but because I've had a ton of work to do every night, I could never get more than about 6 hours sleep and was really looking forward to sleeping early in the study break. Here I am now though, awake at 3 in the morning and I'm actually finding that I don't feel like sleeping at all. What seemed so appealing to me before has now lost all its appeal.

Perhaps I should really be sleeping though; I'm not really sure what point it is I wanted to make in this post.