Shovel

I have a shovel in my hand at the moment, and it's up to me to decide whether I'm going to dig a tunnel or a hole for myself.

Difficulty: Hard

It seems I was wrong before; the thread still exists. The difficulty though, has been set on hard and I'm finding it off-putting. Hmm...maybe I should just tread the easier path.

A is for...

A is for anger; seriously, what is wrong with you?!!

***

On a happier note, merry christmas everyone!!

It's a funny thing

It always seems to be the case.

When someone tells you not to do something. you invariably end up doing what you got told not to do, and when someone tells you to go for it, you invariably end up not doing anything at all. It's like the appeal of the "forbidden fruit"; we want what is denied to us.

I guess though, in the end there is nothing we can really do about it - all we can do is learn to live with it.

Over

The opposite of under is over. Hmm...I think I might just have nailed it.

Why is it...

Why is it that we never seem to appreciate what we have in front of us but instead are always dissatifised and want what we can't or don't have. We always take so much for granted and we never realise just how important these things are to us until they escape and run away. Maybe sometimes we need to take some time and stop focusing on what we want but appreciate and be happy about with what we already have. It's something I think I could do more often.

P.S. I watched 500 days of summer last night on the plane and I have to say that I really really enjoyed watching it. And yes, it was a romance movie. Oh, and Zooey Deschanel really is a rather pretty girl.

Touchstone

Fool: A silly and stupid person that lacks good sense and judgment. And the overwhelming impression I'm feeling about myself at the moment.

I really am the biggest fool around.

Holiday

It's sorta getting late now but I'm feeling like a blog post before I go to bed.

I am leaving for Hong Kong in just under a day now (leaving midnight today). To be honest, half of me doesn't really want to go back which is strange right? I mean, any other person would jump at the chance to go to Hong Kong but for some reason I am just not feeling that eagerness to go. I think I am feeling this lingering attachment to Perth but I'm not sure. I haven't been able to be very definite with anything I have been feeling lately really so this isn't a suprise.

On the other hand, I think a break will do me some good. With everything that has been happening, a break will just give me some time away from everything and everyone. It might also just give me the space I need to (hopefully) sort myself out. Apart from that, Hong Kong is known as a shopper's paradise and I can't wait to splurge my hard earned money - there are so many things that I want to get. Oh and don't forget the heat too. It's winter up there so I will be able to escape the dreaded summer heat. Thank god for that.

And just one last thought (which is sorta starting to become the norm with all my posts), just how many coincidences can you think of as being merely coincidences until it starts to become something else?

Cluttered thoughts

And now for my second post.

I'm not sure how to start this second post. There has just been so much on my mind again that I'm not sure where to begin; I can't seem to translate my thoughts into words. I've been feeling a mixture of emotions lately - a bit of everything and it's addling my head.

I'm also feeling conflicting...feelings? (I know I am not making much sense right now) Like a part of me wants to change and I feel so sure it is the right thing to do but then some self doubt creeps in and I am not so sure anymore. It's frustrating because I don't know exactly what it is I want and should do. Do I follow the rules or do the opposite because it just does not seem to be working at the moment? Hell, would either way even work? Maybe I am taking too much...advice and complicating matters (once again).

Something else that is bothering me at the moment is my...what is a good way to describe it? Laziness? Though not exactly in the conventional way I guess. I know I haven't been putting in a major effort and I know nothing ever happens if you don't make it happen but I think I am being rather stubborn. I think I dislike always having to initiate everything yet I know it is exactly what I have to do.

I really have so much packed inside that head of mine, theories and all, it's just transferring that into actions that seems to be the hardest part.

***

And one more thing, gut feelings. I think they are usually correct. Agreed?

Results

This is going to be the first of two posts for today.

I just checked my results and I ended up with a D. I know I shouldn't really be complaining because overall my results were great but I do have high expectations of myself and I was aiming for all HDs through my whole degree. The "streak" has gone now and I am sorta annoyed. I suppose I have no one to blame but me and my declining study habits last semester though the unit was a real bitch to do because it was all memorising.

Nothing I can really do now I guess, except to pick up my study habits again next semester. I decided to overload so hopefully that might induce me to do more work and study harder. Hopefully.

Owl city

Owl city is a synthopop band that is extremely awesome (which is why I am blogging about them now). Seriously, words can not describe just how good they are. I listened to most of their songs today and I ended up liking each and every one which is usually very rare with me. What stands out the most about them to me is that I love the lyrics in the songs. They make me smile every time I listen to them. A really really good band that should be checked out.

Words and actions

Judge by actions, not by words.

Something that is so very true. We can all talk mumble jumble and spout out words that have no meaning at all, but it's how we act, our actions that really paint the picture of how we feel. I don't know why it took me this long to realise it. I guess your mind closes you to things that you don't want to know about? (and invents things along the way) But I am learning, and that is better than never.

YEAH

I am feeling rather happy at the moment. In fact, I don't think I've felt so happy in awhile. And the reason behind this? I feel...enlightened? Let's get on with life. Hell yeah!

So be it

Memories. Or more correctly, trying to recapture the feeling of certain memories. As I sit here, a Jay Chou song called (roughly translated) "Back to the past" is playing softly in the background. I know it's something that I should know well enough by now to realise it can't be done (even though the song pretty much sums up what it is that I want). It's like trying to cup water in your hands; no matter how tightly you make your fingers touch each other, there are still tiny gaps that exist and the water will all trickle away slowly until all you are left with are empty hands.

Nothing will ever or can stay the same, and it's even more silly to try to make things stay the same. One of the many things I think I should keep in mind. So be it. I can't say with conviction that I have had enough or that I don't care anymore, but what I can say, rather unsurprisingly too, is that I don't want to take it anymore. I'm tired of the same things happening over and over again. Be as you are.

And to save myself from blogging twice, as they say, ignorance is bliss. Something else I can add to my list of things to keep in mind.